I had heard many of the
senior dharma teachers in Everyday Zen say that Zen is a “body practice.” I never really understood what they were
saying. Zazen is sitting in the body, but isn’t every meditation technique
also in the body? What could this mean?
I would say that one of my
greatest insights during this Practice Period is that Zen is indeed “washing
your bowls.” Or, in more rustic terms, “chopping
wood and carrying water.”
The monastic schedule was
very rigorous. I was up at 4:15 am to
take a shower (primarily to wake up, but it also seemed like the only luxury,
since the lavender scented shampoo smelled so good). There were two periods of zazen, and the rest
of the time I was working in the kitchen until 2 pm, with breaks for breakfast
and lunch. There was a rest period
between 2 and 4 pm. I learned to fall
asleep the moment I lay down! At 4 pm there
was a study period, but I have to admit that as much as I love reading Buddhist
books, I was not interested in this at
all. Then zazen, dinner, and two final
periods of zazen.
The kitchen work was fun but
really exhausting. I became one of the
official onion choppers, since I was one of the few people who could tolerate
this work. We chopped in very close quarters, and as fast and efficiently as
possible. I was concentrating so hard
that once Martha de Barros came to stand right by my side, and I didn’t notice
her, until she softy said, “Hi, Barbara.”
There were days that we have
a half day sit, with 5 periods of zazen in the morning. On the full day sits and during sesshin, we
had ten periods of zazen.
The thoughts in my mind were
no more intellectual or “spiritual” than asking myself, “What’s next?” "Do I have dishes tonight?" "Do I ring the Bonsho bell today?" On the way from the kitchen to my room in
Cloud Hall, I would often look at the mud and leaves on the path and think, “Just
one foot in front of the other.”
In zazen, my thoughts did not
race. In fact, as I look back, I am not
sure I was thinking of anything other than how to hold my posture in such a way
that I could make it to the end of the meditation period. Sometimes I actually counted my breath. Sometimes I did deep breathing, not because it
was recommended that I breathe from the “hara” (an area around the navel), but
because it felt good to get oxygen to as many cells as possible!
So, my awareness was
literally in my body – either sitting upright, or paying attention to the sharp
knife so I wouldn’t chop a finger off.
Perhaps this body practice is
good because it keeps you very mindful in the present moment. The “be here now” sort of thing. I think that we mostly don’t do this in our
usual everyday lives, so it was an important experience for me to live this way
for two months.
“Everyday mind is the way,”
as it is said in a famous koan.
thank you.
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