Sunday, March 13, 2011

On Accomplishing Nothing!

I saw a cartoon in which a woman is reading her college alumna magazine.  She has a distressed look on her face.  Her husband tells her that if she wanted to feel good about herself, she should not have attended such a prestigious college.

So I attended Vassar, a prestigious college, I am told, and now I wonder, "What did I accomplish in my life?"  At age 62 almost 63, I am entitled to review my life.  And quite honestly, I don't think I actually accomplished anything.  Yes, I know, having a child counts for something, but I mean something more famous-making, like writing poetry or starring in a Broadway play.

I always feel as if I am starting over...over and over again.  Now I am a Zen student, and starting over seems to be a prescribed thing to do.  But starting over to do what?

My husband Brad has a photo of an old man sitting in a lawn chair, blowing bubbles through a big bubble-making holder.  He is the picture of total joy.

Can I do that?  Can I surrender all ambition and just be happy?


  1. I can think of a few things you have accomplished - like growing a great big warm heart that you share with everyone - like walking the path of awakening. What could be more wonderful?

  2. well i like the idea of being happy together ( this includes of course mistakes and all the rest). having no idea what this means or how to do it - just feeling our way...
    after all, only a buddha and a buddha.